Ciphers
August 9th, 2008 at 11:30 am by Ben
It takes me a moment, but I figure it out. “Swap an ’s’ for the ‘c’, an ‘f’ for the ‘ph’, and shuffle the letters around. Neat.”
“I showed you mine. Now show me yours.” Her offhand innuendo thrills me. It’s all I can do not to blush.
“I haven’t thought of one yet.” The shame of the student, his homework neglected, wells up inside me. I brace myself for her scorn. She surprises me with a shrug.
“Hey, I’ll help you. Start with your name, or a nickname. Like — “
“No one calls me that.” Not anymore. Like a demon’s true name, it summons forth the memories: another girl, another life, lost to me forever. She sees the pain written on my face, and I see her at a loss for words. A bittersweet victory.
“Um. OK, then. What’s your middle name?”
I wince as I tell her. This is odium of the public order, though, and my reaction is a practiced charade.
“Yuck. Mine’s Sarah. I hate it, but if I jumble it up it’s not so bad. The best handles are like that. Like looking in a broken mirror. You can see yourself, but nobody else knows it’s you.”
She offers her suggestion, then. So close to the other, it verges on insult. The tricks of the trade: Find a weakness. Exploit it. Force a connection. I resent her for treating me like a machine, until I realize it might be a sign of respect.
Besides, my shadow self needs a signature. What better source for the christening than a corrupted font?
Serif smiles when I nod. Genji grins back. For the first time in my life, I feel cool.
